30 Comments
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Keith Long's avatar

Really liked this one. Has that J Wilsky feeling to it

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Thanks Keith just tried to come at it from a different angle. Wrong angle evidently, but hey, can’t win ‘em all - or even a few it seems. Still enjoyed writing it. I like knowing the beginning of things. Appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment so graciously. - Jim

Keith Long's avatar

I’ve been feeling contest fatigue, myself. I get that rejections are just the way it goes, but it sure does get old lol

Parker McCoy's avatar

Hehe. I definitely thought this was a robbery being planned out but it's something so much better. I loved the dialogue and interactions. They have a fine plan and a lot of potential. A chain just may happen. Hehe. Great stuff, Jim.

A.C. Cargill, All-Human Author's avatar

Got this from Sandalore Sykes not long ago: "You can take me off your list! I use AI as a tool and use it well! It doesn’t make choices for me, but becomes one tool in my toolbox… as an artist and writer, I know how to use my own filter and it stays creative!"

Sharron Bassano's avatar

Such nostalgia, Jim! Thank you!

just mud by Ron's avatar

Nothing like the Waffle House for down home breakfast fare. Like alot of readers commented, the optimism and can do possibilities back in the day; it seemed to hang in the air. A great read Jim; best of luck!

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Yessir. Thanks so much Ron. There was 1000 different angles to take with this prompt and I chose the very beginning because I love history. So glad you liked it. - Jim

K.C. Knouse's avatar

So many enterprises had their beginnings in the fifties and sixties amid post-war optimism. Restaurants have to be one of the toughest businesses around. Great job of combining optimism with the anxiety over the details of opening day, Jim. Good luck in the contest.

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Thanks K.C. and as always I appreciate you reading and commenting. I tried to take a different angle and explore. It was worth it. - Jim

Henya Drescher's avatar

This scene skillfully introduces the characters, stakes, and setting. The dialogue feels true to life and does the hard work of uncovering the bond at the story’s core. The narrative structure is purposeful, allowing readers to know the characters before delving into the unfolding plot. Joe and Tom’s partnership, their aspirations, and their shared drive to make their waffle house succeed foster an unmistakable sense of hope.

Overall, the passage encapsulates teamwork and perseverance, creating a genuinely uplifting effect.

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Henya, thanks so much for the generous words. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Means a lot to me. - Jim

Stephanie Sweeney's avatar

You really made the history come alive here, Jim, I enjoyed reading this story.

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Thanks so much Stephanie. I loved your WH story. Good luck in the contest, its a winner in my book. - Jim

Stephanie Sweeney's avatar

Thank you! Good luck to you as well. This is a fun contest — I’m enjoying reading all the Waffle House stories.

The Radical Individualist's avatar

I like stories about people doing what it takes to achieve success. Not enough of those stories.

Here in the land of opportunity, you'd think it was all hopeless, based on what some people write.

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Appreciate that. You'd think that some media genius would figure out what you just said and focus on the positives and the good, but the 99% of the media doesn't care about that. In fact they hate it. Thanks so much fo reading and commenting. - Jim

Jim Cummings's avatar

Down here in Florida people say that you know it's gonna be a serious hurricane if the Waffle House closes. Great story, Jim. Well researched and interesting. Good luck in the contest.

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Thanks Jimbo. There are facts behind that saying. FEMA actually does judge and grade how bad disasters will be, and are, based on them being up and running. WH has backup generators, off site food storage and even "jump teams" they call in. Pretty incredible stuff. Thanks again. - Jim

Jim Cummings's avatar

I did not know that. That's wild!

M.E. Proctor's avatar

Sweet as syrup... kidding, nothing here is cavity-inducing. Great writing, Jim.

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Haha, thanks for the read M.E. and the comment as well. I just love the history of places, things and people. - Jim

Parker Longbaugh's avatar

Great little tale about a southern institution, Jim.

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Thanks Parker. Glad you liked it and appreciate you reading. - Jim

David Perlmutter's avatar

Is this about the people who founded the chain?

Liz Zimmers's avatar

Ooo, that wobbly feeling of excited and scared! Nothing like a big leap into the arms of Fortune.

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Thanks for reading Liz. Wasn't sure what my story would be about so I decided to go back and start from the very beginning. Hope you liked it. - Jim

Liz Zimmers's avatar

I did, indeed. And I like those guys—fearless optimists are the best.

Jim J Wilsky's avatar

They were such interesting guys. It was a rabbit hole I gladly went down. Long, full lives and they were literally lifelong partners They both died in 2017 two months apart.