Thank you for reading and commenting Parker. I really appreciate it. I’m at Part 6 and counting with this one and would love to hear your thoughts if you continue reading it. as you go. Welcome here btw, have a look around and check some things out. I’ll head over to your stack as well. Thanks again - Jim
Thanks so much Jennifer. It was brutal and horrible, but I didn't want to dance around that aspect of it. Thanks for pushing through the difficult parts. I have kept going with this story. There is a Part 2 & 3 already posted (with more coming). I hope you like them. Once again, thanks for reading and commenting, I truly appreciate it. - Jim
Grim and unflinching. I could feel a lot playing beneath the surface as you wrote this. I'm glad you did it right and pushed through where most would've cut it. This is a cold dose of reality... and a tribute to the men staring madness in the face for a living. Excellent work!
Thanks so much Ken. I really appreciate it. Tough enough just to write it but how the hell they witness it and maintain some semblance of sanity, I just can't fathom. I've decided Morrison and Ramirez will be coming back. Working on it now. - Jim
The gruesome crime scene made this a tough read, but it was necessary to understand the main character. A person must have total dedication to the job in order to deal with such things regularly. That kind of commitment over many years naturally causes the job to become that person's identity. I can understand the difficulty and reluctance to walk away from that which is one's identity. Without it, who are they? Jim, you did a skillful job of laying this all out. This character will live in my memory.
Thanks K.C. for the thoughtful comments. As always I appreciate you're reading and insightful observations. It was a tough read for almost everybody I'm sure, and frankly not all that easy to write. It needed to be horrific for a seasoned guy like Morrison to be affected like he was. I didn't want to dance around it or soften it because unfortunately it's not a far fetched situation. Unfortunately, there are even worse scenes. Btw, Morrison could be back. In fact judging by a new and very, very rough draft I've already started I'm almost certain of it. Thanks again K.C. - Jim
Man, this one’s intense… love the struggle of his confrontation with evil and the inability to catch the guy (since he laid it all out and ended it for himself). Great story.
Thanks Keith, I appreciate you reading and commenting. Glad you liked it. Thanks also for restacking. I believe the two biggest frustrations cops have, among many, are 1.) A situation like this where the suspect makes it impossible for justice to be carried out or 2.) Watching a perp get away with it, found innocent because of slick lawyers, loopholes, inadmissible evidence and a gullible jury...when the cops know damn well he or she did it. I'm old so I could put together a long list of both 1 and 2 that I've seen played out over the years. I honestly don't know how they do their jobs, put up with it all, lay their life on the line and then handle all of that internally. When people talk about their own thankless unappreciated jobs, they need to try being a cop for a month - if they even last that long. Thanks again, Jim
You are the absolute king of crime fiction, Jim! This was chilling and very human, deep and layered. I hope Det. Morrison gets his win next time. Despite his lack of a satisfying life outside his job, or maybe even because of it, he’s one of the good guys.
Liz, you are way too generous and kind - but I treasure your comments. Thanks so much and I'm glad you liked it. When I finished, I thought that this was one story and character out of only a few I've written, where I could truly see having another chapter, episode, part two or whatever. A lot of that was due to Morrison. We'll see I guess, I have no plans for it and nothing roughed out, but hey who knows. I appreciate you Liz and thanks again. - Jim
Hey Jason, thanks for dropping in. Yes, I know what you mean. I wouldn't use enjoyable either. Kind of like driving by a very bad car wreck. You don't want to look but you do. The gore wasn't my central aim or target. I tried to center on Morrison as well as the relentless and often hideous events that law enforcement faces in their attempts to somehow slow down the human horror show that plays out every day. Appreciate you commenting. - Jim
Martine, I so appreciate your comments and thank you for reading. This story has been a long time coming. Didn't take all that long to write when I finally did but it has been literally decades in the making. A vivid memory that has never let me alone. It has nagged me to be written. There are probably thousands of Dan Morrisons as we speak but yeah, I really liked him too. Thanks again for dropping in. - Jim
Thomas, I must thank you for the steady reading of my stories and contributing comments that help drive and motivate me. It is the fuel that keeps my old engine running. My miles per gallon isn't what it used to be, haha. So glad you liked it, because it was admittedly harsh and brutal in parts. Thanks again my friend, I appreciate you. - Jim
Ramirez and Morrison-- "The scene burned into [their] memory." Phew! They aren't the only ones who will have nightmares. Yikes! You've pushed the absolute limits of gore here, Jim.. ( my limits, anyway), but you gave us a really smart ending. Makes me anticipate just one more case for this pair.
Thanks so much Sharron, I appreciate you commenting. I did push it but not to the absolute limit unfortunately. I know what you're saying though and maybe I should list it as graphic or something, but graphic means different things to different people. I do apologize if I turned you off with that. Its never my intent. I've known some real cops and heard their stories. You'd be shocked at what they see. I've sat on a jury that heard case after case of atrocious crimes, some worse than this story. I've got profound respect for cops and what they have to deal with. Can you imagine standing in that family room and seeing that nightmare, then going home that night to be asked 'how was your day?' You can't talk some of that kind of stuff out unless you're lying on a couch with a shrink. Thanks again Sharron, I'll try to give you a private heads up next time. I mean that too. - Jim
Forget that warning stuff, Jim. Absolutely not necessary! I am a big girl - just wanted to give you my reaction. I absolutely love your work and will read anything you write.... unless you veer into explicit descriptions of child abuse, which is just too heartbreaking, because so much of it goes on. You have started the new year out with a cracking good story. And your empathy with our law enforcers is evident.
Appreciate that Sharron and I know you’re a big girl - but you’re also a special girl, to me. I appreciate and think highly of you, and I’d never knowingly offend you. I also can promise you, swear to you and make a vow that you’ll never hear a word out of me in regard to children. I could never veer that way, I’m just not built like that. Rest assured. - Jim
Wow, Jim. There is so much to this one. The first thing that really stood out was how Morrison defined himself by his work and his reluctance to leave it behind. Followed by the very real and human scene with the two young, traumatized officers trying to keep themselves together. The pure evil of the crime scene, the shock of the looped tape and the recognition by Morrison of the look of true madness. Chilling and compelling. Great story, my friend.
Hey Jim, thanks for reading and commenting. Good to hear from you and glad you're back my friend. This is a rough one for sure, nasty and unbelievably evil as you said. But, would you believe that this is loosely based on a real crime that took place in the early eighties - and in the same small town I was living. Wife, three kids murdered, husband supposedly out of town on a business trip next state over (which was b.s.) Two responding officers, first on the scene, quit the force the following week due to the horrific murder scene. One had a serious nervous breakdown and the other just flat couldn't handle being a cop anymore. Strong rumor was that what they saw, was very similar to what I wrote. So, husband found guilty with a boatload of evidence against him. Years later a retrial is given on some whipped up b.s. technicality. The retrial was a circus and complete joke, a travesty of justice. He ends up being released on the testimony of a 'new witness'. I won't go into any more detail because the S.O.B. is still alive. Never forgot it and it still bugs me to this day. He deserves a special place in hell. - Jim
P.B., I so appreciate that. Means a lot to me. If you want a little weird background to this story, see my reply to Jim Cummings below. Thanks again for reading and the generous comments that I treasure. - Jim
I agree with Morrison. That is the scariest kind of murder where an ordinary person switches into a killer and then back again. Excellent read.
Thank you for reading and commenting Parker. I really appreciate it. I’m at Part 6 and counting with this one and would love to hear your thoughts if you continue reading it. as you go. Welcome here btw, have a look around and check some things out. I’ll head over to your stack as well. Thanks again - Jim
That crime scene arrangement, and the video is pretty chilling.
I enjoyed the dynamic between the two detectives, am feeling curious to know more.
No problem 😉 just spreading the good word
Thanks Posy, very glad you liked it and thanks so much for posting the quote on Notes. Really appreciate it. - Jim
This was chilling. The characters, the scene, everything rang true of the darker side of human nature.
I have to wonder if a man like the murderer ever really just snaps one day. Were there signs? Was his family afraid of him? This got me thinking.
Excellent crime drama!
Thanks so much Jennifer. It was brutal and horrible, but I didn't want to dance around that aspect of it. Thanks for pushing through the difficult parts. I have kept going with this story. There is a Part 2 & 3 already posted (with more coming). I hope you like them. Once again, thanks for reading and commenting, I truly appreciate it. - Jim
Grim and unflinching. I could feel a lot playing beneath the surface as you wrote this. I'm glad you did it right and pushed through where most would've cut it. This is a cold dose of reality... and a tribute to the men staring madness in the face for a living. Excellent work!
Thanks so much Ken. I really appreciate it. Tough enough just to write it but how the hell they witness it and maintain some semblance of sanity, I just can't fathom. I've decided Morrison and Ramirez will be coming back. Working on it now. - Jim
Jim, I'm glad you're back on Substack writing your intriguing stories.
Thanks for being so supportive Olivia. This one was awful gruesome, appreciate you wading through it. Not an easy read. Thanks again, Jim
The gruesome crime scene made this a tough read, but it was necessary to understand the main character. A person must have total dedication to the job in order to deal with such things regularly. That kind of commitment over many years naturally causes the job to become that person's identity. I can understand the difficulty and reluctance to walk away from that which is one's identity. Without it, who are they? Jim, you did a skillful job of laying this all out. This character will live in my memory.
And thank you for the restack!
Thanks K.C. for the thoughtful comments. As always I appreciate you're reading and insightful observations. It was a tough read for almost everybody I'm sure, and frankly not all that easy to write. It needed to be horrific for a seasoned guy like Morrison to be affected like he was. I didn't want to dance around it or soften it because unfortunately it's not a far fetched situation. Unfortunately, there are even worse scenes. Btw, Morrison could be back. In fact judging by a new and very, very rough draft I've already started I'm almost certain of it. Thanks again K.C. - Jim
I will be looking for it.
Man, this one’s intense… love the struggle of his confrontation with evil and the inability to catch the guy (since he laid it all out and ended it for himself). Great story.
Thanks Keith, I appreciate you reading and commenting. Glad you liked it. Thanks also for restacking. I believe the two biggest frustrations cops have, among many, are 1.) A situation like this where the suspect makes it impossible for justice to be carried out or 2.) Watching a perp get away with it, found innocent because of slick lawyers, loopholes, inadmissible evidence and a gullible jury...when the cops know damn well he or she did it. I'm old so I could put together a long list of both 1 and 2 that I've seen played out over the years. I honestly don't know how they do their jobs, put up with it all, lay their life on the line and then handle all of that internally. When people talk about their own thankless unappreciated jobs, they need to try being a cop for a month - if they even last that long. Thanks again, Jim
You are the absolute king of crime fiction, Jim! This was chilling and very human, deep and layered. I hope Det. Morrison gets his win next time. Despite his lack of a satisfying life outside his job, or maybe even because of it, he’s one of the good guys.
Liz, you are way too generous and kind - but I treasure your comments. Thanks so much and I'm glad you liked it. When I finished, I thought that this was one story and character out of only a few I've written, where I could truly see having another chapter, episode, part two or whatever. A lot of that was due to Morrison. We'll see I guess, I have no plans for it and nothing roughed out, but hey who knows. I appreciate you Liz and thanks again. - Jim
Yes, More Morrison, please!
Not sure enjoyed is the right word, but definitely compelling. Great stuff.
Hey Jason, thanks for dropping in. Yes, I know what you mean. I wouldn't use enjoyable either. Kind of like driving by a very bad car wreck. You don't want to look but you do. The gore wasn't my central aim or target. I tried to center on Morrison as well as the relentless and often hideous events that law enforcement faces in their attempts to somehow slow down the human horror show that plays out every day. Appreciate you commenting. - Jim
Great work, Jim. Morrison is a beautiful multidimensional character. We’re with him, step by step, and the reaching of the decision. Wonderful.
Martine, I so appreciate your comments and thank you for reading. This story has been a long time coming. Didn't take all that long to write when I finally did but it has been literally decades in the making. A vivid memory that has never let me alone. It has nagged me to be written. There are probably thousands of Dan Morrisons as we speak but yeah, I really liked him too. Thanks again for dropping in. - Jim
Boy, you make me wish I could write like this. Not necessarily the gory bits but the raw emotion. Great stuff once again.
I was going to ask if you actually had experience on the force but you explained that in another comment.
Keep up the good work.
Thomas, I must thank you for the steady reading of my stories and contributing comments that help drive and motivate me. It is the fuel that keeps my old engine running. My miles per gallon isn't what it used to be, haha. So glad you liked it, because it was admittedly harsh and brutal in parts. Thanks again my friend, I appreciate you. - Jim
Ramirez and Morrison-- "The scene burned into [their] memory." Phew! They aren't the only ones who will have nightmares. Yikes! You've pushed the absolute limits of gore here, Jim.. ( my limits, anyway), but you gave us a really smart ending. Makes me anticipate just one more case for this pair.
Thanks so much Sharron, I appreciate you commenting. I did push it but not to the absolute limit unfortunately. I know what you're saying though and maybe I should list it as graphic or something, but graphic means different things to different people. I do apologize if I turned you off with that. Its never my intent. I've known some real cops and heard their stories. You'd be shocked at what they see. I've sat on a jury that heard case after case of atrocious crimes, some worse than this story. I've got profound respect for cops and what they have to deal with. Can you imagine standing in that family room and seeing that nightmare, then going home that night to be asked 'how was your day?' You can't talk some of that kind of stuff out unless you're lying on a couch with a shrink. Thanks again Sharron, I'll try to give you a private heads up next time. I mean that too. - Jim
Forget that warning stuff, Jim. Absolutely not necessary! I am a big girl - just wanted to give you my reaction. I absolutely love your work and will read anything you write.... unless you veer into explicit descriptions of child abuse, which is just too heartbreaking, because so much of it goes on. You have started the new year out with a cracking good story. And your empathy with our law enforcers is evident.
Appreciate that Sharron and I know you’re a big girl - but you’re also a special girl, to me. I appreciate and think highly of you, and I’d never knowingly offend you. I also can promise you, swear to you and make a vow that you’ll never hear a word out of me in regard to children. I could never veer that way, I’m just not built like that. Rest assured. - Jim
Wow, Jim. There is so much to this one. The first thing that really stood out was how Morrison defined himself by his work and his reluctance to leave it behind. Followed by the very real and human scene with the two young, traumatized officers trying to keep themselves together. The pure evil of the crime scene, the shock of the looped tape and the recognition by Morrison of the look of true madness. Chilling and compelling. Great story, my friend.
Hey Jim, thanks for reading and commenting. Good to hear from you and glad you're back my friend. This is a rough one for sure, nasty and unbelievably evil as you said. But, would you believe that this is loosely based on a real crime that took place in the early eighties - and in the same small town I was living. Wife, three kids murdered, husband supposedly out of town on a business trip next state over (which was b.s.) Two responding officers, first on the scene, quit the force the following week due to the horrific murder scene. One had a serious nervous breakdown and the other just flat couldn't handle being a cop anymore. Strong rumor was that what they saw, was very similar to what I wrote. So, husband found guilty with a boatload of evidence against him. Years later a retrial is given on some whipped up b.s. technicality. The retrial was a circus and complete joke, a travesty of justice. He ends up being released on the testimony of a 'new witness'. I won't go into any more detail because the S.O.B. is still alive. Never forgot it and it still bugs me to this day. He deserves a special place in hell. - Jim
Yes, a special place in hell for all of eternity.
P.B., I so appreciate that. Means a lot to me. If you want a little weird background to this story, see my reply to Jim Cummings below. Thanks again for reading and the generous comments that I treasure. - Jim