I was with my dad when he passed, and we had a similar conversation. My brother said the very same thing to our mother when he was alone with her as she left this realm. With my dad, I had a lot of reasons to worry about his spirit when he left; and a lot of regrets of my own to wrestle with. The last breath for him involved a lot of conversation and signing of papers and turning off of machines and tubes and medications. It was just me and a very compassionate doctor with a huge heart; we sat together in his hospital room at two in the morning and ushered him into the next world.
Two years later, Dad came to me in a dream and we had an amazing conversation that put all of my worries and regrets to rest. Just a few months ago, a medium reached out to me and told me she had my dad there with her and he was telling her that she had to describe where he was to me. She described the setting of my dream in perfect detail -- a place I never saw in this life.
It's a dreadful thing to lose a parent. The sun never sets on a day when I haven't thought of my folks and all they did for me and my brother, all they dreamed of and hoped for, and how much I wish they were still here.
TK, you don't know how much I appreciate you sharing that story of yours. It confirms that maybe I made the right decision to post this. I very nearly didn't and after I did, I questioned my decision, almost felt guilty about it because it's such a private thing. When I read what you wrote, it gave me a little breathing room. Maybe I should have and maybe I shouldn't have but if it touches people in a good way then it's at least of some value. Thanks so much. - Jim
I'll just say it: you should have. Glad you did, and your other readers are too. The universal things in life are humanity's connecting threads: babies, love, hope, the struggle for the legal tender, death. So much of that is really personal, but when we find that common ground -- well, that's just the stuff, isn't it?
Yes of course, that is, the stuff. On the other hand, there are some things I will never make public, and I challenge anyone to claim their life is a 100% open book, so to speak. Maybe that’s just me, but it is what it is. I’ll just say that it was very near my personal line.
Hanna, the thanks go all to you. I appreciate you reading and commenting on this so much. It's a tough thing to write about and even though it was years ago, I remember it like yesterday. I very nearly didn't post it and still question my decision to do so, but it is therapeutic in a way. Thanks again for reading. - Jim
Thomas, thanks so much for dropping in. It's a helluva tough thing. I was just lucky enough to be there as I didn't live in my hometown anymore. You were there Thomas, just not physically. You were there for him, and in his thoughts, I promise you that. Thanks again for reading and commenting. - Jim
Jim, you were strong and wise to tell your father it was okay to go, to let go. The dying know when it's time. I am convinced of that. But fear of the unknown or guilt over leaving loved ones behind keeps them hanging on and in distress. You gave your father permission to go. That was a wonderful gift.
Thanks K.C., I appreciate that. He had been a fighter all of his life, through hardships and struggles. He fought this too. Literally had no quit in him. That's just how he was built. Thanks again for reading and commenting. Comments mean everything. - Jim
Jim, you made me cry. I lost my dad New Year's Day 2021. I held his hand on the 31st, looked at his beautiful blue eyes, thick white hair and mustache that cancer hadn't taken and told him it was okay to go. I knew he was waiting to see his oldest grandson. Our son who had estranged from our family. I told him how much God loved him. That He was waiting. Don't think I've written that. Sending you a big hug for the moments of loss that visit us so strongly on occasion. ox
P.S. I switched to a free subscription due to our recent determination to "Dave Ramsey our way into complete home ownership." ox
Deborah, thanks so much for reading and commenting. I'm glad you were able to make a personal connection with my story, but sad at hearing of your loss. There isn't a more personal or emotional situation than saying goodbye to a loved one. Appreciate you. - Jim
No, there isn't a harder situation. I really appreciate your beautiful writing, yet gut wrenching story. I know this story well. It's why I began to write "my way out of the grief." Through it I realized that joy does, in fact walk alongside of it. ox
Your father had his own way to die - as we all do. There is no one right way. Reminds me of Dylan Thomas', "Do not go gentle into that good night." he said, but rather to "Rage, rage against the dying of the light." I sat by my mother's bed with my heart broken as she closed her eyes and left me with a soft sigh. Thank you so much for sharing your unforgettable moment in time.
Ahh, thanks so much Jim. Honestly, it was tough to write but I was compelled to share it by something I don't entirely understand. It's always so good to hear your thoughts. Appreciate it more than you'll ever know. - Jim
A beautiful experience. Thank you for sharing it.
Appreciate that Terry. He was something. The thanks go all to you for reading and taking the time to comment. - Jim
I was with my dad when he passed, and we had a similar conversation. My brother said the very same thing to our mother when he was alone with her as she left this realm. With my dad, I had a lot of reasons to worry about his spirit when he left; and a lot of regrets of my own to wrestle with. The last breath for him involved a lot of conversation and signing of papers and turning off of machines and tubes and medications. It was just me and a very compassionate doctor with a huge heart; we sat together in his hospital room at two in the morning and ushered him into the next world.
Two years later, Dad came to me in a dream and we had an amazing conversation that put all of my worries and regrets to rest. Just a few months ago, a medium reached out to me and told me she had my dad there with her and he was telling her that she had to describe where he was to me. She described the setting of my dream in perfect detail -- a place I never saw in this life.
It's a dreadful thing to lose a parent. The sun never sets on a day when I haven't thought of my folks and all they did for me and my brother, all they dreamed of and hoped for, and how much I wish they were still here.
TK, you don't know how much I appreciate you sharing that story of yours. It confirms that maybe I made the right decision to post this. I very nearly didn't and after I did, I questioned my decision, almost felt guilty about it because it's such a private thing. When I read what you wrote, it gave me a little breathing room. Maybe I should have and maybe I shouldn't have but if it touches people in a good way then it's at least of some value. Thanks so much. - Jim
I'll just say it: you should have. Glad you did, and your other readers are too. The universal things in life are humanity's connecting threads: babies, love, hope, the struggle for the legal tender, death. So much of that is really personal, but when we find that common ground -- well, that's just the stuff, isn't it?
Yes of course, that is, the stuff. On the other hand, there are some things I will never make public, and I challenge anyone to claim their life is a 100% open book, so to speak. Maybe that’s just me, but it is what it is. I’ll just say that it was very near my personal line.
I 100% respect that.
Thank you for sharing this, Jim.
Hanna, the thanks go all to you. I appreciate you reading and commenting on this so much. It's a tough thing to write about and even though it was years ago, I remember it like yesterday. I very nearly didn't post it and still question my decision to do so, but it is therapeutic in a way. Thanks again for reading. - Jim
I hope it is. I think people really value the way you connect with them this way. It certainly touched me. I know that was a lot to share.
This was beautifully recorded. Thank you.
Thank you Jennifer, I'm glad you liked it. It was a tough one to write. I appreciate you reading and commenting. Means a lot to me. - Jim
Thanks for sharing this. Jim. I lost my Dad several years ago and wasn't able to visit him at the end. Something I regret deeply.
Thomas, thanks so much for dropping in. It's a helluva tough thing. I was just lucky enough to be there as I didn't live in my hometown anymore. You were there Thomas, just not physically. You were there for him, and in his thoughts, I promise you that. Thanks again for reading and commenting. - Jim
Jim, you were strong and wise to tell your father it was okay to go, to let go. The dying know when it's time. I am convinced of that. But fear of the unknown or guilt over leaving loved ones behind keeps them hanging on and in distress. You gave your father permission to go. That was a wonderful gift.
Thanks K.C., I appreciate that. He had been a fighter all of his life, through hardships and struggles. He fought this too. Literally had no quit in him. That's just how he was built. Thanks again for reading and commenting. Comments mean everything. - Jim
Jim, you made me cry. I lost my dad New Year's Day 2021. I held his hand on the 31st, looked at his beautiful blue eyes, thick white hair and mustache that cancer hadn't taken and told him it was okay to go. I knew he was waiting to see his oldest grandson. Our son who had estranged from our family. I told him how much God loved him. That He was waiting. Don't think I've written that. Sending you a big hug for the moments of loss that visit us so strongly on occasion. ox
P.S. I switched to a free subscription due to our recent determination to "Dave Ramsey our way into complete home ownership." ox
Deborah, thanks so much for reading and commenting. I'm glad you were able to make a personal connection with my story, but sad at hearing of your loss. There isn't a more personal or emotional situation than saying goodbye to a loved one. Appreciate you. - Jim
No, there isn't a harder situation. I really appreciate your beautiful writing, yet gut wrenching story. I know this story well. It's why I began to write "my way out of the grief." Through it I realized that joy does, in fact walk alongside of it. ox
Thanks for writing this. Sharing this story helped me, and I'm sure many others as well.
Mary, I really appreciate you reading and leaving the heartfelt comment. Many thanks. - Jim
Really beautiful piece, Jim. I feel privileged that you shared this with us.
Thanks so much for reading Bob. I'm fortunate to have people like you to share it with. - Jim
Your father had his own way to die - as we all do. There is no one right way. Reminds me of Dylan Thomas', "Do not go gentle into that good night." he said, but rather to "Rage, rage against the dying of the light." I sat by my mother's bed with my heart broken as she closed her eyes and left me with a soft sigh. Thank you so much for sharing your unforgettable moment in time.
Thanks Sharron. I appreciate you. - Jim
Oh shit, Jimbo. Tough one. It's good you were there for him. I got tears. God bless.
Ahh, thanks so much Jim. Honestly, it was tough to write but I was compelled to share it by something I don't entirely understand. It's always so good to hear your thoughts. Appreciate it more than you'll ever know. - Jim
Oh, Jim…that just wrings my heart. Now I will never forget it, either. Thank you for sharing it.
Thanks Liz, your comment means everything.
I see why you'll never forget. Thanks, Jim.
Thanks Victor.
Thanks for this Jim...I wonder if I'll get to have a moment like this with my old man.
Thanks Peter, I was fortunate to be there.
"I once heard that when a son loses his father, he loses a piece of himself." The death of a god, in some ways. Thanks for sharing this, Jim. ❤️
Thanks for reading Sean.